i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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