If that was your dad, he is hot
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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