dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
