I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
