you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
