be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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