What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
