And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
