My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
My balls are so social today.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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