I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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