booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Thank you for not boning my boss.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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