okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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