Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
