im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
