Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
