And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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