if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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