blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
