It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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