Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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