Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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