just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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