I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
