Can Purell be used as lube?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
