I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
