i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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