you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize
