while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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