as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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