thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
