My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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