i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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