I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
50% drunk capacity currently
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
