When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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