I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
