every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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