I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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