and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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