Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
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