this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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