Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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