While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
