I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
