just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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