I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
