i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
