sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
