dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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