You're so nebulous sometimes
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
