the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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