There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
either way he was missing a nipple.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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