did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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