The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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