I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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