# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I cannot find my penis.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
