what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
