well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Randomize
