Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Randomize
