I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize