farters have to be the big spoon...
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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