I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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