they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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