Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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