my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize