Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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